The other day, Kei stunned me by suggesting we watch the film Vegucated - stunned because he has been in a nearly nine year battle to get me to eat meat with him, never missing an opportunity to ask me if I wanted to taste that particular burger, lamb, steak, etc. But I quieted my shock, and alas we put it on.
Let me start by this - just watch it. No but seriously. Just watch it. It is not an anthem of lectures and moral superiority, and it requires zero commitment to change your own diet, it just sheds light on some interesting and generally misunderstood issues. That it would have an effect on me (to say the least - see below) is less than surprising since I've long been prone to this thought-process, but for the last few years, I have gotten increasingly lax on the whole vegetarianism thing (eating seafood and poultry ever since I lived in Tokyo), and Vegucated served as something of a wake-up call to me. The thing is, I can't seem to settle on precisely where my awakened state leaves me.
While we watched the film, many of the points were valid, informative reminders of the vast benefits of eliminating meat & dairy from your diet (environmentally, food production efficiency, etc.). It was when the conversation turned to the treatment of animals in today's industrial meat/poultry/dairy production system, however, that my reaction became visceral . My horror came out my eyeballs, and I was literally sobbing. That's my first somewhat embarrassing confession... though I suppose anyone who has witnessed me watch any movie featuring a dog or horse will be less than surprised by the prospect of my tears. I digress. My point is that it is simply horrific what happens each and every day to these creatures with functioning nervous systems, fear, affection, personalities... To treat them without a shred of humanity, like parts of a machine that have no sense of pain or fear - just because they don't have a voice and people want to make a buck - makes my blood boil. I don't want to be a part of it. Period. And that is precisely where I was as the credits to Vegucated played along the screen when I turned to Kei and simply said, "I just turned vegan."
However, my second embarrassing confession is that I'm finding myself bizarrely confused about my convictions. I still feel the same horror. The same desire to NOT be a part of that whole awful process. But... You see, it started with the yogurt and half & half already sitting in my refrigerator - both parts of my daily (beloved) breakfast of a smoothie and coffee with cream. Hmm. Kei - the ever-logical voice in my ear was quick to remind me that throwing away perfectly good dairy products will neither save an animal, nor affect the company/production process since it has already been paid for. So there's that.
Plus, when I compare my reaction to the thought of eating a bite of pork (just not possible, way over the line of what I can handle) to my feelings about adding cream to my coffee... conjuring the same disgust feels somehow affected. But both are part of these horrific processes, right? So why the difference, if it is the process that abhors me? Hmph. Working this out... (o_0)
For now, I appreciate being considerably more conscious of all these issues. I am making a concerted effort to refrain from animal products, within reason. "Within reason" is currently defined (by me) as not causing a lot of trouble when someone else is cooking for me and/or we're sharing food, etc... Exceptions will probably be bountiful, but small steps are still steps after all, right? Right?!
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